Every so often, the human disappears. (Must be a wanderer). She puts her things into a big box (which is fun to jump in), then snaps it shut and leaves. Of course I’m not happy, but if another human turns up to replace her, they’ll have to learn my routine quickly, or suffer claw marks around the ankles.
I was traumatised the last time the human left, because she packed me off to a prison – how could she? It’s not the first time she’s sent me there. I had to put up with Ripper a sleek bengal, who always took the best spot on top of the cupboard, basking in the sun and that roly poly Bijou, who snored all day long on top of her cage – not very attractive.
When I got home, I’d usually scratch the rug an extra long time and of course, ignore the human. But this time, I couldn’t stop purring and kept close to her. At night, I spread-eagled myself across her chest making sure she wouldn’t disappear again.
Us moggies are sensitive to the unexpected. Yesterday, after relaxing on the deck, I was forced to wander off because those scum-bag barkers from next door rushed out, scaring me. Typical, you can’t understand their yapping—it’s not friendly—so I took off, leaping over the fence and tumbling to the ground. I missed my dinner because they were outside for ages, so I had to sleep outside.