Monthly Archives: November 2013

Moonlight Mates

Skip practising his leaps.

Skip practising his leaps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After hanging out with the possums who are fun dudes, I met neighbourhood moggies, young Skip and Pandora. Pandora reminded me of my mum—big and soft. Every night, we  would meet on the big hotplate— used for charing food – and talk about our humans and our day.

Skip would practise leaping and scaling the fence. His paws would wobble, so he didn’t get very far down the fence-line. I think he had trouble balancing because of his big head and skinny body. He told us how as a kitten, his brothers and sisters raced ahead, leaving him behind. The little guy didn’t have striking markings like me, but a plain, taupe/white coat and ginger ears. Skip wasn’t territorial and his elderly human adored him, even when she tripped over his tail.

Pandora shared her place with heaps of humans and a gi-normous mutt, named Corby. She kept him in-line by swiping his nose and skewering his tail. Cats Rule!

Us moggies became good mates, but then Skip disappeared and new humans took over his home. I still miss him… Not long after, Pandora’s coat became scruffy so she didn’t come out anymore. The moon was full when Corby barked, ‘Pandora is gone.’

I was even more upset when that mutt sprawled out in her favourite spot of the garden. Her humans brought back another mutt to live with them. Pandora would not have been happy and I wasn’t impressed.

Dogs are so pathetic – drooling to please. No dignity, but Cats Always Rule!

Miaow to Skip and Pandora.

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Assault on the Furball

The General on patrol.

The General on patrol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guest Blogger:  The General – Leader of Myna Birds in Smudge’s Backyard.

Furball Predators,

I do not welcome your kin, especially that despicable feline, Smudge, who is reason why decline of my flock. Zee human being has dug up some worms in exchange for story about myself and zhat cat. Now, I tell how dangerous life is.

I, the General, take action to prevent futher knock-offs. I form zee Myna Wing-Jets, with Wing Attack Manjeet and Dive Bomber Mani under my command.

Smudge, you beast… killing my fledglings last spring, when they leave nest. My wife Mimi and I are heartbroken. Now Blackbird Bruce injured. I vow in zee memory of our great warrior, Mahadev, the Myna Bird, to make hell your life and to save my flock and other chirpers from your claws. I hope the big dog down road eats you!

An hour later…

‘Attention Wing-Jets, this is zee General. Spotted cat suspect, 50 degrees right. Follow me… Formation Wing-Jets. ATTACk now target – dive and swoop! Repeat:  ATTACk target – dive and swoop!’

WHOOSH, WHOOSHHH… SNAP, SNAP, SNAPPP!

‘Success my Wing-Jets. Zee predator has shot down path, over big barrier and in bushes hides. Zee Wuss, Scaredy-Cat! Snapping of beaks frighten him. Loser! We’ll patrol every day. Job good.

Tweet o’ Tweet. Zwat joy my flockettes! Zee cat has scat.’

The General surveys the backyard.

The General surveys the backyard.

Bugs and Annoying Humans

That look when the human annoys me, especially when she clicks and flashes that thing in my face.

That look when the human annoys me, especially when she clicks and flashes that thing in my face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the time the human obeys my commands— I’ve trained her well—except when she becomes feral, (see Never Completely Trust Your Human). She can also be ANNOYING and I wonder what is she thinking?

Usually, when I’m trying to snooze, she’ll ruffle the fur on my head, or if I’m stretched out, spread her big mitt over my tail, so that I can’t flick it from side to side. A nip or a paw swipe stops her.

When I try and groom the human, she pushes me away. It’s hard as my tongue sticks to her skin or cloth she has on. ‘Hey, I’m just being affectionate.’

Her grooming technique is strange. She stands under heavy water, which splashes into a giant bowl and goes down a hole. It’s fun swatting at drips trickling down the sides, or lapping up puddles after she has gone.

I’m not happy when she chases a chirping, feathered ball away from my clutches, or removes something that I want to pounce on and play with. There are some crawly things with lots of hairy legs that move fast around the walls. Funny looking, their eyes are on stalks. Harry and Henrietta huntsman – that’s what the human calls them. Like me, they are active at night and my eyes follow their every move. ‘Come down, so I can have some fun.’

In the morning, Harry, the bigger one, is resting further down the wall. My nose wrinkles. The human appears, sneaks up and catches him in a container.

‘Hey, he’s mine – a snack to play with and nibble on!’ I bite her lower leg. I’ve been waiting all night to reach him.  After yelling out, the human takes Harry outside.

Miaow.

Moggie Magnet

Muffin.

Kitty-cat Muffin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most people are impressed when they see my fluffy, white coat with dark-striped markings and bushy tail. Every night I plonk myself across the human, my paws dangling from her lap. She strokes my head and says, ‘You’re handsome,’ but my good looks haven’t helped me with the kitties.

Lots of moggies have skinny tails, unless you’re me or that pooncey Persian, Pierre, a few doors down. Just thinking about him makes my fur bristle. That fluff-ball with no chin and squashed nose thinks he’s better than everyone. His pedigree purr makes some kitties swoon, but my trick to impress is to shimmy my tail, while strutting around. In the sun, the creamy underside of my tail sparkles with gold flecks. How good is that?

I’ve had two kitty-cat friends. Whitney was laid-back. She had white fur, but her tail and under her ears were inked black. Muffin was number two. Shy at first, she started following me around. Her coat was wild and fuzzy. We’d pounce, tumble and chase each other around the backyard, then bask in the sun. When the human said her name, I’d twitch my nose and look around for her, then scratch the backdoor.

Muffin adored me until I grappled and knocked her over, biting into her shoulder, like I do with my toy lion. Miaowing, she leapt up and swiped my face with a two-by-paws, then sped off. She wouldn’t hangout with me after that. Geez… I was only playing. She’s probably with that poonce now.

Miaow.